Three Stage Process of Emotional Healing;
Stage Three: Freedom
By Dave Piltz, MFT
Admit ---> Surrender ---> Freedom
Freedom is the result of emotional healing. It is the end goal. Freedom provides choice and choice provides options for which actions and behaviors you want. The freedom of emotional healing is a freedom that is difficult to describe in words as it creates a new way of living – one that is not connected to past hurts. This new way of living is consciously being aware of how you feel and that you have control over your feelings, thoughts, and actions. The freedom of emotional healing is control of who you are along with an acceptance of who you are. This stage is a stage of awareness and consciousness of how you feel in the moment and that realization that you have a choice to feel that way or to choose a different way of feeling and acting.
Entering this stage means your past hurts do not have influence over the current you – you have healed them and the wounds are no longer affecting you. Those words, actions or circumstances that were triggers (things that create emotional reactions) are no longer triggers and indifference occurs. Each time you heal an emotional wound you create an indifference towards the item that created the past trigger and you simply are not triggered any more. In this way you have created a new neural pathway that doesn’t excite when triggered thus creating indifference instead of anger, shame, guilt, sadness, loneliness or a myriad of other feelings.
This new emotional freedom creates a conscious awareness of feelings and creates more emotional regulation. Emotional regulation allows for an individual to recognize an emotion as it occurs and create awareness as to why it is occurring and then make a conscious choice in their thoughts and behaviors. In this way, when a trigger does appear, the individual can process it quicker and understand it quicker. In fact, this stage of emotional healing creates the stepping stone for additional emotional healing and returning to the awareness stage for the next emotional wound to heal. The more one emotionally heals, the quicker the process is as the individual has created more awareness around who they are and why they are who they are.
This stage of freedom reminds us that change can occur and increases hope and faith that change is possible. At this stage, the item(s) that seemed impossible to change or overcome are now not seen as threats but seen as growth opportunities. During this stage, a feel of gratefulness or thankfulness becomes more apparent and deep appreciation for the growth occurs. During this stage, one is able to recognize that power of growth and change and begins to cultivate a lifestyle of self-awareness.
Achieving emotional healing is not easy but it is very rewarding as the experience creates an emotional relief and letting go. Once emotional healing is achieved in one area, it is easier to continue to heal in other areas since the overall benefits are great to a person’s health and well-being.